Featured Article: The Listening Triangle
Created by Moshe Cohen in the early 2000s as a tool for mediators and negotiators, The Listening Triangle is a structured method for uncovering the needs, motivations, and fears driving another person’s behavior. The corners of the triangle define the three steps of the process, which then repeat throughout the conversation: (1) Ask non-judgmental, non-leading, open-ended questions, (2) Listen in silence for the other party’s interests, and (3) Reflect back what’s been heard and understood.
The Listening Triangle has been used in companies and organizations throughout the world in sales, procurement, customer engagement, project management, conflict resolution, and more. Moshe has taught The Listening Triangle to thousands of people, and it’s been featured in numerous publications, podcasts, books (see Collywobbles, Chapter 9), and websites. This is the original 2007 article introducing The Listening Triangle and how to use it.
Collywobbles: How to Negotiate When Negotiating Makes You Nervous
COLLYWOBBLES: [ kol-ee-wob-uh lz ] a feeling of fear, apprehension, or nervousness
Negotiations are challenging and sometimes scary. You prepare and know what you want, but then things go terribly wrong. Your emotions get in the way. Sometimes you don’t even try. Other times you start, lose your way, and fail to achieve your objectives. This book helps you get out of your own way, manage your emotions, and negotiate effectively.
Available on Amazon.com in print or e-book, and in bookstores worldwide.
Optimism is a Choice (and other timeless ideas)
Optimism is a Choice is a collection of uplifting, thought-provoking, and informative essays written during the height of the Covid-19 pandemic lockdown, between March of 2020 and May of 2021. They cover a range of topics from mindfulness to gratitude, empathy and curiosity, negotiation and listening, and more, all with the purpose of helping you get through challenging times. Each essay is no more than five hundred words long and can be read in under five minutes, providing ideas that you can take and adapt to improve your experience today and any day. While written during the pandemic, the thoughts shared in this book are timeless, evoking universal themes and using a conversational, informal style to make the ideas relatable and personal.
Available in print or e-book.
The Optimistic Pessimist: More Timeless Ideas
The Optimistic Pessimist: More Timeless Ideas, is a second collection of essays on mindfulness, optimism, self-awareness, choices, and other topics. The sixty four essays in this volume build upon themes from Optimism is a Choice and Other Timeless Ideas, and provide comfort and joy as well as practical and informative thoughts for challenging times and everyday life. Written in the waning days of the Covid-19 pandemic, they also capture a moment in time, as humanity struggled to make sense of things and move forward.
Additional Articles & Links
2 Minutes With Moshe: Video 1, Video 2.
BU Insights – Conflict Management Lessons for Business Leaders
Startup to Storefront Podcast appearance
Harvard Business Review – Controlling Your Emotions During a Negotiation
Secured Finance Network – Negotiating Tips and Strategies
WNYC – Antartic Explorer’s Failure Becomes His Greatest Success